Space Cowboy Round Two

Heverice was empty. A lone astrotumbleweed drifted past the bow of my Thorax as an uncalled for amount of crumbs cascaded down the front of my shirt with every bite of the incredibly dry granola bar I was eating.

"A TARGET!" I shouted as a barrage of granola bits pelted my console.

That tape was still stuck in the deck and would not eject.

I landed about 30k off the Fleet Stabber, locked target, and went to work. As soon as I saw local spike a large granola bit lodged itself in my throat causing me to choke. I fell forwards onto the acceleration lever clutching my throat. Luckily Lilly was near by to assist me as the ship powered up to full speed headed in a strait line.

The Stabber being an incredibly fast ship kept pace as it tried to keep point. Suddenly his gang landed but they were over 80k away.

My eyes were still watery but my windpipe was now clear and I was able to resume command of the ship just as the Stabber tried to run. He ran alright but only after his pod ejected from his exploding ship.

So in the end I managed to almost pod myself with a granola bar, kill a Fleet Stabber, and witness a terrible trap unfold. I even got the loot! Yay!

Space Cowboy

I had reached the end of the universe. Every last ISK had been spent on boose, smokes, and lavish hotel rooms. The vacation was truly over.

Stranded, I needed to somehow make enough ISK to buy a ship and my ticket back to the stars. An opportunity arose when I saw a group of hanger hands engaged in a game of poker. After some silver tongued word wizardry and placing the ownership papers to Space Bunnies magazine on the table the game was on.

It wasn't long before all the ISK they had and the ownership papers to exotic dancers Jane and Miss Calamity were mine.

Before they had a chance to try and win anything back I faked a text that my mother was calling for dinner, tipped my hat and was off.

Now it was off to the used ship dealer to see if I could afford anything spaceworthy with my new winnings.

There were several decent ships on the lot but I still didn't have enough ISK for any of them. Then in the corner of the hanger under a pile of used ship parts and scrap, I noticed what looked like a beat up old Thorax. It was rusty, with several bullet holes in the hull and some extra additions held on by what appeared to be duct tape. The salesman said the ship had been sitting in storage for ages because nobody wanted it. The previous owner had been some sort of Minmatar mad scientist and had made several home made alterations. The salesman said that if I could get it running and off his lot he would sell it to me for next to nothing.

Deal!

Despite its appearance, and after a few tweaks, the ship was running well enough to take into space. I paid the man and was off.

There was a tape stuck in the malfunctioning deck that wouldn't eject.

The thing held up fairly well at first but the hybrid mix of Minmatar and Gallente technologies was highly unstable. It wasn't too long until sparks started flying and I was experiencing power outages across the grid. Fearing the worst I warped to a nearby planet so I wouldn't be stranded in space if a total breakdown occured. Upon landing the ship ground to a halt after several violent concussions rippled through the structure.

That's when the Rupture appeared.

"Shit!" I screamed as I started kicking one of the controll consoles. Suddenly an intense whirring sound started up and the ship shuttered back to life. The Rupture already had a point and was adding to the collection of bullet holse in my hull. I hit the gas. The thing suddenly had gobs of power and I was easily outrunning the pirate Rupture.

I returned fire and at 20k was matching the shield Rupture blow for blow. This Thorax was like some kind of wild animal. It wasn't too long before "poof" I was waving at the pirate's escape capesule as he warped off.

Feeling like a Rock Starr I finally made it back to Heverice ready to re-earn my fortunes in the space lanes.

Ebil Piwate

Hangin' out with Bubble Gum



A daring miner showed up on the scanner. He seemed quite content just sitting there mining away.

As an avid environmentalist I felt a burning rage build up inside of me as I saw the devastation being caused to the asteroid conservation zone. This sucker really thought he could get away with destroying an environmentally protected area just to make a quick buck! I decided to step in and bought him a ticket for the funeral expresss back to hi sec.



All was well in the universe again. Then an incoming transmission hit the screen.

Natuli > really? why did you have to kill me?
Natuli > kill my ship sure but my pod. really? come on
Mr Snypes > gf
Natuli > good fight sure when I am in a minning ship with no defense

Bubble Gum burst out laughing. I burst out laughing. By the time I managed to pull it together the transmission had ended. Oh well, back to business as usual.

Trippin' at the Disco

The light set fire to my brain as I opened my eyes for the first time and my hangover greeted me with a bright and chipper "good morning". I put my slippers on and quickly lit a smoke. The smell of bacon was present and the scraping sound of a spatula and pan could be heard. I turned the corner to the kitchen and nearly had a heart attack at what I saw.



After my heart kicked back into gear and my cigarette had landed several feet on the ground in front of me things finally settled into focus.


"Rough night huh? Do you even remember any of it?" Mars asked.

To be honest I didn't remember much so Mars filled me in on the rest. Apparently myself and several space bunnies were attending a large disco party in Avaux.



Apparently some jerks in office clothes going by the names of Phjil and Joss56 were quite drunk and trying to get fresh with some of the bunnies. When Phjil decided to move in for an inappropriate grab at Mars I had seen enough. A scuffle ensued and the result was those two getting kicked out of the party. All was well until it was time to go home.

Angry, the two from earlier had been waiting outside for me to come out. They watched as myself and Mars swervily aligned to a planet and warped off. The Eris was the first to land over 100km away followed by the Megathron. I was still officially on vacation but since I hadn't had a spaceship fight in ages I went for the Eris. Pew, pew, blam, kapow! My new Rifter was holding out well against the onslaught of evil hornet drones from the Mega and hopelessly out-ranged small blasters until this showed up on my display...

20:00:37 Combat Modal Mega Neutron Particle Accelerator I belonging to Joss56 hits you, doing 512.2 damage.

I shook my fist screaming "Watch it buddy!". But it was too late and all that was left of my ship was pieces.

Mars was still thankful that I stood up to that creep for her but I still hung my head in shame on the pod ride home. To make matters worse apparently some people in EVE don't like myself or the space bunnies and call me names when I've been reduced to a pod.

UmaThurman > ha Mr Sleazenes

I don't even know who that is :(

The Daughter of the Honey Maker

Ghosts of my past began to haunt my mind as I lay in vacation paradise. The space bunnies were playing volleyball, surfing, laughing, playing all around yet my thoughts felt distant. Perhaps I had one drink too many I thought as the blackness consumed me.



Space, my home, my hunting ground, my way of life in new eden. The space bar was pretty vacant by Tash-Murkon standards. The regular riffraff must have been out harassing the latest miner in the vast beltscape that surrounded it's most infamous planet. I was about ready to leave when beauty showed it's face. She scanned the bar for a moment then stepped up to me and introduced herself as Miss Honey Bee.



My first reaction was "What the hell are you wearing?" but the hypnotic scent of honey swirled through the air and began to numb my mind.

"I need a strong pilot to help me with an important mission" She whispered into my ear.

I can't remember much what happened but next thing I knew like a good worker bee I was out in the belts of Tash-Murkon in a Vexor mining veldspar into a honey pot. The regular flies came to visit but having died to my swatter before left the scene. Then a new face showed.

"Vexor, Vexor strong and bold. I'll take your honey into my hold" said the Rifter pilot who warped into the belt.

"You people are damn weird" I said as I made my way back to station to swat this arrogant fly. I fitted weapons and made my way back to the scene. Little did I know a devious trap had been laid for me by the enemies of Miss Honey Bee.

The Rifter had left and agression was gone. I figured I would just re-flip the honey pot and resume. Moments after I had done this a Rapier had decloaked and locked me down. I didn't even know what a Rapier was yet I fought back with all my might.

For most people getting tackled by a Rapier isn't usually a good thing. On this day however with a small percentage of hull left my Vexor emerged victorious. I was still a young pilot of about 4 months old at the time and this was before the age of cheap rigs. I actually had to look up what type of ship I had killed after the dust settled.

Miss Honey Bee showed her appreciation on the ride back to station. Everything was cool and dandy until she introduced me to the rest of her family.



That's when the hypnotic sense of honey lost it's touch and i got the hell out of that weird ass system.

Snypes

Mr Snypes On Vacation

Well friends, the Ishkurwagon is packed and the surfboards are attached to the roof. Mr. Snypes has filed his papers with the Tuskers and is now officially off on vacation. My crew and I have selected a nice recreational beach planet to enjoy ourselves on. Many space bunnies will be sporting the latest summer fashions as well.

Hook



Vegas



Lotus



and Foxy



... are just some of the girls who were kind enough to feature in the summer issue of Space Bunnies magazine.

Luckily for you guys (the readers) I will still continue posting throughout the summer. I have many EVE related stories that have yet to be told. This should hopefully tide some of you over until I bring my account online when summer is over. I enjoy writing these posts and would not like to see this blog fall into the "inactive" category.

Anyways, have a great summer! (or winter)

Snypes