The Final Battle

My glorious Thorax landed on the Hyperion. The shields peeled away like a banana. I confidently smashed the armor and brought it to critical meltdown. While discussing a proper ransom my kill was stolen from me along with my own ship being destroyed by a gang of 3 cloaky strategic cruisers. Upon returning to station I was informed that my pilots liscence will not be re-issued due to unpaid parking tickets. Looks like the end of the road for this space cowboy. Adios friends it was a trip.

It's a good thing I'm quitting the pirate life as my bankroll is near 0. I have enough isk for an exotic dancer a blaster and a plasma bullet. In a perfect world CCP would put a monument outside Heverice V station saying "Mr Snypes was the shit" but that's just a dream. Who the hell reads this blog anymore anyways? I guess my final words would be. There's more then just math and a flawless fit to being a good PVP pilot. That's just a lie used by others to bind you. It takes a touch of soul. If you believe in that, then you can fly like I do.

Mr Snypes out... *radio crackle*

Space Cowboy Round Two

Heverice was empty. A lone astrotumbleweed drifted past the bow of my Thorax as an uncalled for amount of crumbs cascaded down the front of my shirt with every bite of the incredibly dry granola bar I was eating.

"A TARGET!" I shouted as a barrage of granola bits pelted my console.

That tape was still stuck in the deck and would not eject.

I landed about 30k off the Fleet Stabber, locked target, and went to work. As soon as I saw local spike a large granola bit lodged itself in my throat causing me to choke. I fell forwards onto the acceleration lever clutching my throat. Luckily Lilly was near by to assist me as the ship powered up to full speed headed in a strait line.

The Stabber being an incredibly fast ship kept pace as it tried to keep point. Suddenly his gang landed but they were over 80k away.

My eyes were still watery but my windpipe was now clear and I was able to resume command of the ship just as the Stabber tried to run. He ran alright but only after his pod ejected from his exploding ship.

So in the end I managed to almost pod myself with a granola bar, kill a Fleet Stabber, and witness a terrible trap unfold. I even got the loot! Yay!

Never Use The Captains Washroom... Ever!!!

So I was in the hanger area when I felt the need to take a little time out. Knowing the station facilities were at the other end of the hanger I asked one of the crew members of a nearby Thorax named "Starship Funk" if I could quickly use the washroom.

"Go right ahead, the boss isn't here at the moment but I'm sure he wouldn't mind". The man said.

Being in command of many Thorax cruisers in the past I didn't even think twice about using the luxury throne room reserved for captains use only. Upon washing my hands I noticed the name embroidered in the hand towels "Captain James Brown". The name sort of rang a bell but I couldn't quite place it. I then exited the ship and went about my day.



I was later walking past one of the stations news monitors when I heard a familiar name being broadcast.

"One captain James Brown was reported to have held several members of his crew at gunpoint earlier today after discovering a floater in his office washroom. Concord Police arrived on the scene only to have it escalate into a high speed ship chase across many regions. Captain James Brown was eventually captured and is currently being held in custody..."

Seems I have a knack for causing trouble even when I'm not out in space.

Translation: I'm busy and haven't played much EVE.

Lasers On Everything!!!

(Just something to listen to while you read that will add to the post)

I was off the bridge spending a little personal time in the Captains quarters with crew members Cherry, and Daisy.





The ship was drifting off a planet in a quiet section of space. Suddenly, the alarms sounded and a call to battle stations came over the intercom. I thew on my bathrobe and pirate boxers and ran towards the bridge with no time for such details as socks or a uniform. Upon arriving a Diemos class Heavy Assult Ship was 24km off my mighty Thorax class cruiser. Upon a closer inspection he was fielding T2 medium blasters. Instead of running like a coward I saw my advantage and ordered an orbit set for 17km and began firing my scorch loaded medium pulse lasers in addition to setting a deck of medium drones upon my foe.


Things were looking pretty groovy as I appeared faster then my foe and he had no real way of reaching me other then a set of med drones he himself had fielded. All of a sudden time stood still. I had a vision that I was some primitive humanoid playing an inferior game device that had frozen and refused to function properly. By the time the vision had faded the Diemos had overheated and caught me in close quarters. I did what I could and swapped to multifrequency but by the time I was able to overheat my own microwarpdrive and pull away once again the damage had been done. At about 20km just moments from completing my escape maneuver the mighty Rainbow Sprinkles succumbed to drone fire and disintegrated into a fireball.

I was depressed. I truly believe that I stood a chance against such a ship and the glory of my win would have been epic and cemented the success of my laser nano thorax into the history books. Unfortunately the gods decided to punish me for my sins. Hopefully Cherry and Daisy managed to escape from the doomed ship because I still had some unfinished business with them. Pirate life can be heartbreaking at times.

Snypes